Having been pretty much in the same place my entire life, the only time I've ever technically moved anywhere has been at university. I've 'lived' in a total of 4 different places during my 21 years so far on this planet. Being in my final year now, it's led me to consider the daunting prospect of life after uni, whereby I'll be expected to accept that yes, I am an adult and therefore responsible for myself.
Granted, my worries are coming a year early (I have a conditional offer for a masters course), but they're still there. Although university has prepared me for some real life things - like bills, they're a real bummer - I still don't feel like I could enter the real world and think 'yeah, I am totally ready for this'. On the outside, I'll still have to pay rent and bills, but without that added security net of a student loan. Getting a job is a prospect that terrifies me beyond belief - what if, a year after graduation, I'm still struggling? Everyone desires independence to an extent, but what if I'm still leaning on my parents?
I've accepted that eventually I won't be able to live in my hometown anymore (it's not exactly the forefront for music journalism). Although I've never feared new places, quite the opposite, I think it's the unfamiliarity of it that makes me nervous. Like when I moved to university in first year, and had to rely on maps. I like to know where I'm going, both literally and concerning my future, so now that my safety net is nearly gone everything has hit me at once.
Like I say, although I (hopefully) still have another year to panic about getting a real job, I can't help but be concerned about it now. Sometimes I envy the people who have it all figured out, because I still don't seem to have a clue. I guess the best we can do in life is try, and keep trying, until we're happy with what we have become.
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