Ramble: Graduation

**original post on my blogger here**

   Today's post is late and very much non-music related because yesterday, after three long years at the University of Birmingham, I finally graduated!

   The day itself was brilliant - the sun was out and stayed out, the ceremony went well, and I felt like Harry Potter in my gown (always a plus). I got to speak to a couple of my lecturers which was good because I got to thank them. The reception was really great, too - plenty of wine and soft drinks available free to the graduates and their guests (all of whom were welcome, regardless how many guests we brought which was nice because only two were allowed in the ceremony).

   Over the past three years, as cheesy and annoyingly clichéd as it sounds, I've changed a lot as a person. I don't think it's possible to leave home for three years, meet so many new people, and be in such a different environment from what you're used to without changing. And I've learnt a lot, not just about my course but about life in general. I think these are the most important things I've learnt, and I think everyone comes to realise at some point in their life:

1. Don't be afraid to try new things. That's how we learn and grow as people. How are you going to find out what you enjoy and what you're really good at if you don't try it first? Never be deterred by fear of the unknown, because most of the time the rewards make it worth it.
2. Everyone makes mistakes. It's how we deal with these things that really matters. Weird as it sounds, it took me a long time to sit back and think 'I keep doing this to myself, something needs to change'. Sometimes you get stuck in the same cycle and keep making the same mistakes, but it's important to see that if it's making you unhappy, learn from it rather than ignoring it.
3. Not everyone is going to like you, just like you're not going to like everyone you meet. But don't waste your time with the wrong people, or trying to please someone you know you're wasting your time on. Sometimes you have to accept that you can't please everyone. In he workplace, yeah, you have to deal with these people. But in your own life? Cut them out, they aren't worth the trouble. 
4. Be yourself. Don't change to suit other people. I'll be honest, I didn't enjoy my first year at all, mostly because of how I was changing as a person - all to suit other people who, in hindsight, weren't my friends. In the uni environment, it really shouldn't matter what other people think about you. You don't act like them on a night out? That's fine. You don't feel like going out and just want to stay home and watch a film? Go for it. You don't get along with the person they all worship? That's OK, too. You want to wear clothes you're comfy in, that they might judge you for? Screw them. No one should ever make you feel bad about who you are, and your friends never will. If someone's bringing you down, they aren't your friend.
5. Enjoy yourself. Another cliché, but make the best of all your time no matter what you're doing. Don't sit wishing you were doing something else, get out there and do it. There's no point regretting things you can change.

   There's a lot of things I wish I could change about my time at uni, but I think without them I wouldn't be the person I am today. We live, we learn, and we build on our experiences. It's up to us to make sure we experience as much as we want with the time we have. 

Absence

   I've had exams over the past few weeks, so I've been revising hard and didn't have any time to blog. But, now that they're over, I'm hoping to start posting 1 or 2 a week. I've also been considering moving to wordpress, because it seems to be a wider known blogging site and therefore might mean that my blog will reach a wider audience. If I do move, it'll be posted on here.

   Obviously, I've had little time to really write anything. So, instead, I'll give my top 10 songs I've been revising to over the past few weeks.

1. Death Cab for Cutie - A Lack of Color. This song is perfect for starting revision as it's so calming - the slow tempo and Ben Gibbard's soothing vocals are a sure fire remedy to revision stress and panic.
2. Cash Cash ft. Bebe Rexha - Take Me Home (acoustic). This song is so catchy and I love Bebe Rexha, but personally when I revise club tracks are a no. Solution? The acoustic version. It still carries the same energy but a little more subdued and not too distracting.
3. Panic! at the Disco - This is Gospel. I love revising to this song, because it's the perfect mixture of Vices & Virtues and their newer, more electronic sound. It's upbeat and shows off Brendon Urie's amazing vocal range.
4. VersaEmerge - Your Own Lov.e. As you can probably gather, I'm a real sucker for strong vocalists with a kick-ass range, and this song offer's just that in Sierra Kay's voice, but with the added softness of Blake Harnage's allowing the track to really balance out.
5. Paramore - Ain't It Fun. I'm not sure whether 'motivational' is exactly the right word for this song, but it certainly got me working. It's catchy without being obtrusive (i.e, I only caught myself singing along to it once or twice instead of revising...)
6. Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX - Fancy. I love this song. I find it strangely empowering and positive, perfect for getting into revision mode. Also Iggy Azalea is a really talented and diverse artist.
7. Lights - Peace Sign. Like 'Fancy', I find this song positive(ish) and it's upbeat. I can't get enough of Lights' sound as I find incredibly unique. I could happily listen to this song over and over and not get bored.
8. Deaf Havana - Boston Square. I find this song very familiar, and it brings back memories of seeing Deaf Havana live which I thoroughly enjoyed, so it automatically puts me in a happier and more positive place.
9. Chvrches - Mother We Share. I've only recently got into Chvrches, and their electronic, futuristic sound mixed with Lauren Mayberry's voice is a perfect combination. The verses build up to the chorus and keep me awake and engaged.
10. Charli XCX - Nuclear Seasons. Another oddly motivational one. Charli's sound is so unlike most other electronic artists which gives her a bit more of an edge. To be honest, all of True Romance is great for me to revise to, but this is my favourite track off the album.

   I think everyone revises to different things, so this isn't what you should revise to, just what I have found works for me. I owe a huge thanks to all of the artists that have made revision just that bit less tedious.

RAMBLE: Moving

   Having been pretty much in the same place my entire life, the only time I've ever technically moved anywhere has been at university. I've 'lived' in a total of 4 different places during my 21 years so far on this planet. Being in my final year now, it's led me to consider the daunting prospect of life after uni, whereby I'll be expected to accept that yes, I am an adult and therefore responsible for myself.

   Granted, my worries are coming a year early (I have a conditional offer for a masters course), but they're still there. Although university has prepared me for some real life things - like bills, they're a real bummer - I still don't feel like I could enter the real world and think 'yeah, I am totally ready for this'. On the outside, I'll still have to pay rent and bills, but without that added security net of a student loan. Getting a job is a prospect that terrifies me beyond belief - what if, a year after graduation, I'm still struggling? Everyone desires independence to an extent, but what if I'm still leaning on my parents?

   I've accepted that eventually I won't be able to live in my hometown anymore (it's not exactly the forefront for music journalism). Although I've never feared new places, quite the opposite, I think it's the unfamiliarity of it that makes me nervous. Like when I moved to university in first year, and had to rely on maps. I like to know where I'm going, both literally and concerning my future, so now that my safety net is nearly gone everything has hit me at once.

   Like I say, although I (hopefully) still have another year to panic about getting a real job, I can't help but be concerned about it now. Sometimes I envy the people who have it all figured out, because I still don't seem to have a clue. I guess the best we can do in life is try, and keep trying, until we're happy with what we have become.  

Feeling Useless: Final Year Stress

   The final year of uni is a terrifying thought, and it's only just really hit me that I have 2 weeks left of official term time before the exam period. 2 weeks. Am I panicking? Perhaps a little. And how's my dissertation going? Well, I've hit a block.

   There comes a stage for every final year student when you have what I imagine to be the university equivalent of a mid-life crisis. You ask yourself all the questions that it is, quite frankly, too late to answer. Asking 'is this really what I want to do with my life, or should I quit and do something irrelevant?' is probably the dumbest question to ask oneself, yet it still happens. Eventually, most will come to the conclusion that unless you enjoy pointless debt, then yes, this is what you want to do. But what about after university?

   These past few weeks, I've noticed a significant rise in the amount of booked slots for the careers advisors. To most students, you have a number of choices: further study, internships/postgrad schemes, employment. For most, it's making this choice that is the first hurdle, which all contributes to the third year break down. Suddenly a question that seemed so simple when you were younger, 'what do you want to be when you grow up?', is more difficult to answer that being asked to single handedly create world peace; it would seem 'Angelina ballerina' is no longer an adequate response.

   On top of having to consider life after uni without that safety blanket of a regular loan, it's dissertation period for most students. After writing, scrapping, and re-writing thousands of words a few times, finishing seems like mission impossible. And it's always now that the library has decided to stock only one copy of the book everyone seems to need (cough cough How Fiction Works) so it's near impossible to get hold of. Unless you buy it, spending more money that, by now, you really don't have. But if, like myself, you miraculously do know what you want to do after graduation, there's the added stress of applications and interviews. Managing time becomes an enigma, and before you know it deadlines are catching up. 

   The main question is, should we be worried? Well, yes. This is real life. But at the same time, whether it feels like it or not, we'll all get there eventually. A full scale freak out is bound to happen to everyone at some point. I think it's important to think of it not as a break down, but as stress release - it'll seem better tomorrow.